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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Break Up Avoid

Relatively mature, kind people seem to be rendered nearly brain dead when breaking up with someone. In efforts to avoid conflict, not hurt anyone’s feelings or not look like the bad guy, we often say the oddest things. Let’s be clear, it is not possible to come up with a break up line that makes the process feel good. However, saying the wrong thing can definitely make the whole thing worse.

What shouldn’t you say?

Anything that compares the person you’re breaking up with to an ex or to a new person you've met
Talking about how difficult getting over the break up will be for you
Pointing out how this whole idea is really in the other person’s best interest
Making the famous distinction between loving someone vs. being “in love”
Stating you’re no longer interested but you’d like to keep the benefit or convenience of the sex
There are no perfect words to draw on when ending a relationship. Instead, let’s lay out some break up lines to avoid:

I’m interested in someone else. You’d really like him/her.
You can’t imagine how hard this is for me.
I just don’t want you to get too attached.
I don’t feel that way about you, but the sex has been really good.
I'm getting married this weekend so I won’t be able to see you anymore.
Trust me, I’m doing you a favor.
I need to find myself.
Right now I don't feel like I can give you what you need.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking….
I don’t want to be together anymore, but we can still have sex if you want.
I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you.
It’s not you, it’s me.


simple thing to do....just say it.
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