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Saturday, September 27, 2008

Relationship Advice: Use these 3 Simple Tips to Screw Up Your Relationship

Tired of that great healthy relationship you are enjoying? Looking to screw it up royally? Then by all means try these tips


By all accounts the divorce rate in America has been on the decline. According to USA Today, it is now at its lowest level since 1970. Certainly this is a cause for celebration but it does not negate the fact that The United States still leads the rest of the world in that department or that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce.

There are a myriad of reasons as to why many relationships end badly. Sometimes in spite of the best efforts of both parties it still does not work. But more often than not many a couple has made a concerted effort (consciously or unconsciously) to sabotage their relationship. While there are a number of ways to throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, the following must be at the top of any list when it comes to breaking up.

1. Communication Barrier

This is one of the main reasons relationship coaches remain in business. Many couples don't talk. If they do talk at it all it's usually past each other or turns it an argument. Lack of communication also is to a certain degree a lack of trust. You don't believe you can share more of yourself. Whether it's fear of rejection or just not believing they will be understood, the lack of trust can easily turn into not sharing anything at all.

The added side affect is that it has a tendency to put the other person on the defensive. They believe now they have done something wrong and since you are not giving them any indication one way or the other, the tension grows.

2. Money

We've seen many shows where a couple arguing over money has been played for laughs but in the real world it's no joke. A survey by Redbook and Smart Money magazines shows over seventy percent of people in a relationship talk to their partners at least once a week about money. It is so easy with soaring prices across the economic board for a discussion about basic household finances to get heated. Taking care of the family and home should be a gimme but even in that situation two people are bound to have a different perspective.

This is true even if you don't have money troubles. One partner might not feel it's a big deal since they have money to burn. That can cause some resentment particularly if one of you has been the primary breadwinner. No one can (or should) get their way all the time in any healthy relationship but there has to be boundaries. By all means make sure you and your partner do not work out a clear understanding or honor any financial decision you may reach.

3. Player, Player

This should go without saying. So why doesn't it? In a recent study conducted by Infidelity Facts, 57% of men and 53% women surveyed admit to cheating on their partner regardless of whether it is dating or marriage. Excuses can range from they are stuck in a loveless relationship and the new person makes them feel alive again to the thrill of sneaking around and doing something a bit reckless.

Whatever the excuse, introducing a third person into the picture means in essence the current relationship is over. "I love my spouse but…" is not going to cut it. Any chance to work out whatever problems you may be experiencing in your relationship will disappear once you get entangled with another person.

There is no quick fix or magic cure when it comes to relationships. It's hard work day by day, hour by hour. Even couples that have been together awhile and think they have the problems solved are shocked when life turns their relationship upside down. However if you want your relationship to end badly feel free to use any or all of the techniques above. They are guaranteed to do the trick.

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borak2u

simple thing to do....just say it.
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