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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Building Relationships, Commitment and Love - A is for...

An alphabetical guideline for building satisfying relationships, commitment, friendship, and love. We discuss interactions with those significant others in your life including that special person, whether or not you are already together. While we focus on the positive, we don't ignore the mistakes that are so easy to make but hard to repair. This article introduces the series and focuses on attitude, affection, and acknowledgment.

We all want to succeed in our interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Why is it sometimes so difficult? Isn't there a secret that will help you succeed, a checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to help achieve the relationships that you want, that you need?

We can't offer you a magic list, but we truly believe that our suggestions will help you succeed where you may have failed in the past. Please remember that despite any appearances to the contrary, other people are looking for the same relationship success that you are. To some extent our suggestions are common sense. You may say to yourself, why didn't I think of that. You may also say to yourself that's what I tried in the past and it didn't work. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. Just like you can't lose in one week the excessive weight that you gained over the decades by poor eating habits, you can't repair your relationship deficiencies overnight. But you can see progress immediately. This should give you the strength to move forward.

We have so many suggestions that we are going to provide them in virtually alphabetical order. Let's start with A.

A is for attitude. Attitude is one of the most important aspects of relationship building, whether dealing with coworkers... you know the list. If you go around thumping your chest like Tarzan or a gorilla, screaming for all to hear "I am the greatest" don't be surprised that people aren't standing in line to be with you. Frankly, if you were the greatest, don't you think that people would know without your having to tell them? Wouldn't your greatness somehow seep through the fog of interpersonal relationships? Yes, my friend, attitude is a big one. If you have a chip on your shoulder than don't be surprised that people somehow manage to avoid your presence.

So what should my attitude be? Should I be self-effacing? I think not. Why not let people know that you are glad to spend time with them? Let them feel the affection that you have for them. This leads us to another A term, affection.

A is for affection. I'm not talking about the hots. Or even the lukewarms. Let people know that you want to be with them. Let people know that their friendship or love (please don't confuse these all-important qualities) is important to you and well worth working for. We can all do with more friendliness in our life. Somehow a big smile can help grease the wheels of interpersonal relationships. Remember, your vis-à-vis is also looking for relationship success. She or he wants to be acknowledged. And that's our third and final term for this article.

A is for acknowledgment. Everybody needs it. When you have done something special you want people to know about it. Well guess what. This phenomenon works in both directions. As for most of our points, acknowledgment is also a couple's question. Don't be stingy about letting your partner know that he or she has done a fine job. Nobody wants to be taken for granted. People don't want their significant other to be absent for them... And this brings us to another series; namely pitfalls to avoid in building relationships, commitments, and love.

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simple thing to do....just say it.
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