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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Parental counseling

After a divorce, it is common to see that parents who are usually overwhelmed with their separation forget about their children wellbeing. Unfortunately there are some basic rights of kids that are not preserved during a marital separation. Some of them are:

The right to live in a safe environment.
The right to never be forced to choose between the parents and to be allowed to love both parents and be loved by both of them.
The right to be kept outside of the separation of the parents.
The right to keep the child/sibling role that naturally represents them.
The right to see grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins of both sides of the family after the separation.

These statements express circumstances that become easily vulnerable when parents go through a process of separation.

When a marriage is consolidated, it grows around the capability of two people to co-create life. So being this capability essential in the origin of a marital couple, it is logic to affirm that in case the couple bond breaks in the future, the parental tie that once attached the two people should always last.

Of course, after a separation, the family link that should persist taking care of the kids will not remain exactly the same. However, the changes in the family could be experienced by the relatives as part of the family evolution. In order to experience a marital separation in this constructive way it is needed that both sides of the breaking couple respect each other and be conscious of their mutual responsibility for all they lived and decided together.

When the two separated partners honour the life experience that involved creating a family –beyond their later marital disagreements–, they not only help themselves by preventing the lose of life sense, but also they protect their children wellbeing.

borak2u

simple thing to do....just say it.
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