How to succeed by changing your behavior?

by Marshall Goldsmith


Marshall says that people who are already successful are there because they are intelligent and skilful; all that stops them from reaching the next level is usually some irritating interpersonal behavior and once this is addressed and changed, their success is bound to multiply. He has helped many global leaders to overcome annoying habits.

Seven types:

Adding too much value

Imagine a friend of you comes up with a suggestion, for e.g. to market a property and says he intends to put an advertisement in a national daily. Instead of simply telling him that it is a great idea and ask him to go ahead and revert to if need be. Suppose if you suggested him in which paper to advertise and how to word the advertisement. May be you would have added 10% value but took away 50% of his motivation because the idea was no longer his, it became yours.

Winning too much

The need to win at all times and at all costs. We should sometimes curb the need to always come on top, in spite of our skills and knowledge way above others in the company.

Passing judgment

Whether there is a need to rate others and make comparisons. Closely linked to adding value is the immediate comparison radar that goes up when we see something others have done. A simple acceptance of another’s work style is needed, for e.g. in written documentation – so long as there are no glaring errors. Everyone cannot have a uniform style or match our own.

Starting with no, but or however

Excessive use of these negative qualifiers is a way of telling the world we are right and they are wrong. When someone gives us an idea or a plan, if our reaction starts with “no, but…” it dampens their spirit. Each time we catch ourselves using these words, let’s levy a $10 “fine” on ourselves and contribute the money to a kitty so that some good cause gets rich at the cost of our behavior change!

Speaking when angry

Using emotional outbursts to manage others. Suppose if a client of yours speaks in raised decibel levels and showers angry words on one of your valuable colleague. If the above ends in the colleague’s resignation and no amount of cajoling could get the colleague to change his mind. Anger is temporary madness, and it is best to raise one’s tolerance level instead of one’s voice. A thoughtful “one-minute” reprimand as Kenneth Blanchard recommends is a good way, spoken after the wave of anger has passed.

Withholding information

We should do so, like we will have an advantage over others. As an entrepreneur, one of our biggest challenges is how to get cross selling to happen between various departments that are flourishing individually. Keeping the bigger picture of the company above us would banish withholding of information.

Failing to say thank you

When there is a need to thank others. Sometimes, the easiest things to do are also the easiest things not to do. When someone on our team does something worthy why not simply thank them?